Monday morning Center-Attacking Mid

Most questionable coaching decision of the first weekend of World Cup action - sitting Lionel Messi for the entire game against Cote d'Ivoire.

I realize Messi's status coming into the WC was questionable, and that he's just getting over a thigh injury and match-fitness issues. But that's precisely why he should have gotten a run-out. He's an unknown quantity in all aspects, and Saturday's game would have been the perfect time to see what he could do against quality opposition.

Argentina bunkered down after two goals and Cote d'Ivoire continually created chances. With Messi's fresh legs running against the tired Ivorians, he probably could have gotten another goal and put the nail in the proverbial coffin. Instead, Argentina was forced to endure a barrage of chances.

Messi could have answered some questions about his ability to change a game late in the match. He could have proven his fitness, his skill, and he could have provided a decisive goal.

The end result was a good one for Argentina, but I think Jose Pekerman would have been wise to see what the young prodigy could do on the big stage.

England - Paraguay

A snoozer of a game. Sven-Goran Eriksson sure knows how to kill a team's momentum.

Anyway, onto the commentary:

Marcelo and Dave O'Brien were their usual awful selves. These guys are total clowns. I feel bad for O'Brien because he actually sounds like a competent human being, but he's put out on an island with Balboa. I sometimes wonder if O'Brien thinks that Balboa even knows anything about the game.

Here are a few selected gems from the telecast:

• Dave O'Brien: "...Beckham is so dangerous on crosses...and kicks". Oh, he's dangerous on kicks? Isn't that what they do in soccer?
• After England scores, Balboa says the following: "Great start for England. Bad start for Paraguay." Thanks for pointing that out to us.
• Marcelo called the most recognizable soccer player in the world "Michael Beckham".
• This classic exchange - O'Brien: "Joe Cole said Prince William is "a nice, relaxed geezer". Marcelo: "What's a geezer?". What I would have given to see his wrinkled brow when he said that line.
• Marcelo didn't mention "Michael" Beckham's name once without mentioning how he "bends" it. The "bend" count was at nine by the end of the match.
• Marcelo: "The heat affects you. You sweat more". Oh yeah, that's right, I do sweat more when it's hot out.
• Marcelo on Togo coach Pfister's decision to leave the team at the World Cup, after a pay dispute (I swear to God this is verbatim): "The important thing is not the coach, but the important thing is the team...and this could only affect your team." Dude, what the fuck are you talking about?

When Michael Owen was subbed out at the 55th minute, there was no mention by either O'Brien or (the soccer "expert") Balboa about the position and/or tactical changes. Stuart Downing is a left mid, meaning that either Joe Cole would play up front as a forward with Peter Crouch or he'd play in the hole, directly behind Crouch. I'm an amateur soccer fan and I picked up on this. How the hell do Balboa/O'Brien get away with not knowing this?

Four minutes after the change, O'Brien eventually mentions Downing's substitution, calling Downing "Crouch's new running mate". Uh, no, that's wrong. Cole was the forward and Downing filled in Cole's spot on the right.

Thanks guys, for making a boring game even worse through your lack of knowledge and butchering of the English language.

ESPN's soccer coverage = the suck

Let's all get over the nostalgia that we have associated with ESPN and admit something about "the total sports network": it sucks ass. From their fellating of the 2005 USC football team (whom they had the gall to run a weeklong segment pitting them against the great teams in college football history before their Rose Bowl encounter with Texas), their choice to continue sending paychecks to Joe Theismann, and their painfully transparent marriage with ABC and all things Disney, the network is really a joke. Unfortunately, they have an amazing effect on sports in the United States and their influence is evident everywhere.

That of course, carries over to soccer, so it was of interest to see how they were going to present their exclusive coverage of the World Cup. I was curious how well they would present the tournament, because, despite still being a relatively small niche market, soccer is more popular than ever before in the United States.

After the first day, I'm somewhat pleased (though my expectations were extremely low to begin with).

Their normal camera coverage of soccer games is atrocious - way too tight, not enough angles or replays. EPSN has wisely opted to take in the global feed. Not that they had any choice, but they're allowing people who are competent and experienced in providing beautiful video coverage of games.

They're also allowing Tommy Smyth to do color commentary. He's by no means the best option available (he's really the Irish John Madden), but he can at least give insight into the teams and games.

Of course, the big games are covered by the absolutely awful Dave O'Brien and 'Celo Balboa, probably the worst commentary team in all of sports. You would think that a former US Men's National Team defender would know something about the game, and perhaps he does, but it's readily apparent that Balboa has a hard enough time mastering the English language which gets in the way of him giving the audience any sort of good commentary.

They treat the soccer audience like a bunch of morons, giving us the most basic ideas about soccer. They slow the game down, provide no excitement, and I honestly think that I know a great deal more about the players and teams involved than these two monkeys, who are provided with stat sheets and info about everyone involved. It's sad really, and makes for a far worse viewing experience.

On the plus side, the World Cup Live has been alright. Eric Wynalda is competent, knowledgable, and engaging enough to provide something that I don't already know. The studio hosts, some days it's Joe Resvine and some days it's Rece Davis , are good too. They've done their homework and ask interesting questions. Wynala's responses are predictable but tolerable.

Jule Foudy, however, is just terrible. She's a total bitch who doesn't understand anything about on-set chemistry. She's constantly talking out of turn, criticizing players and teams (she said Germany would have a tougher time against a "real team" than they did against Costa Rica.

At one point she laughed when Resvine mentioned Lio Messi's dwarfism. Yeah, a debilitating condition is really funny Julie.

Her insight is limited to comparing her experiences as a player on the women's national team with what goes on in the World Cup. Look, I know we have a good women's team that plays at a high level, but that's like Chris Berman comparing his experiences as a little leaguer to the major league.

And while I'm not discounting women's opinions on sports, I feel it is a slap in the face to have a woman on the panel. They're treating soccer as some second-rate sport. I don't see female panelists at ANY major sporting event - not at the Super Bowl, Final Four, the Master's, or Wimbledon. Soccer shouldn't be the exception.

If she provided some good insight into the games, it might be tolerable. But as it is, they're just lending credence into the widely-held belief that soccer is a second-tier, even "girly" sport.

For the next few days I'll be providing more evidence of the terrible coverage provided by ESPN.

This last week has been miserable. The world’s greatest sporting event kicks off Friday morning (9 am for us West-Coasters) and it’s been many, many months of build-up.

Since the Champions’ League final, there has been precious little to keep my soccer-craving mind busy. Yes, there have been some interesting friendlies. The occasional transfer rumor to whet my appetite. But I want 90 minutes of intense, meaningful soccer. Sad as it is to say, soccer is what gives my life meaning these days.

I check bigsoccer.com every minute to get the latest updates on the Czech and Italy injuries. Is Nedved going to play at 100%? Can Koller go a full 90? What about Baros? Will he be healthy enough to regain the form that saw him win the Golden Boot at the Euro 2004? Zambrotta, Gattuso, Nesta…are they ready to go?

England’s pre-WC preparations have been filled with drama as well. Will Rooney win the race to fitness, having suffered a broken metatarsal just six weeks ago? It appears so. But now Steven Gerrard, arguably the most influential midfielder in the world (apologies to Ronaldinho, but he’s more of a forward than a midfielder anyway), is listed as questionable for their match on Saturday. The Lions will need him to feel comfortable against a scrappy Paraguay.

Perhaps the best way to while away the time would be to catch some live soccer, and that’s possible tonight, as El Superclasico will go down. I’ve recently become a Chivas USA fan and would love to see them beat the soulless, boring L.A. Galaxy. I’ll probably opt for BBQ and the NBA Finals, but I will TiVo the game and watch it when I get home.

Tomorrow’s games are by no means the marquee match-ups of the first round: Germany-Costa Rica and Poland-Ecuador. But it’s World Cup soccer, goddamnit, and nothing else in the world compares to it. The next month will be 6 hours of the beautiful game, nearly every day, and I cannot wait.



And now for my World Cup predictions:
Group A
Germany
Poland
Ecuador
Costa Rica

Group B
England
Sweden
Paraguay
Trinidad & Tobago

Group C
Holland
Cote d’Ivoire
Argentina
Serbia & Montenegro

Group D
Portugal
Mexico
Angola
Iran

Group E
Italy
United States
Czech Republic
Ghana

Group F
Brazil
Australia
Croatia
Japan

Group G
Switzerland
France
Togo
South Korea

Group H
Ukraine
Spain
Tunisia
Saudi Arabia

Knockout Round:
Sweden v Germany
England v Poland
Holland v Mexico
Cote d'Ivoire v Portugal
Italy v Australia
Brazil v United States
Spain v Switzerland
Ukraine v France

Quarterfinals:
Sweden v. Cote d'Ivoire
Brazil v. Ukraine
Italy v. Spain
England v. Holland

Semi-Finals
Brazil v. Sweden
England v. Italy

Finals
England v. Brazil

Golden Boot: Luca Toni
Golden Ball: Steven Gerrard
Most flops: Arjen Robben